Mowing the Lawn

I mowed the lawn yesterday. It looked like crap and Mark is allergic to grass and really hates to do it....I thought it was really fun and a great workout. It was nice that the kids could play outside while I worked and when I was done, it looked really great and I was sweating.

I was still up a bit this morning....thanks a lot Aunt Flo!

Not Half Bad....

Well, one week down and I'm down 3.1 pounds. Not bad considering I ended the week with Saturday night out, Sunday from Taco Time and Monday night company....It is nice to know that with added activity and cutting back on eating I can still lose weight. I like that I'm still living pretty much my normal life, with more water, less food and more steps. That seems easy and managable right now.

Down the road, I'll need to get more intense if I ever want to reach my goal of 130-140...that is a dream....for now, I would love to be in "Onederland"....

7,000 Steps...I think

So, I had another good day yesterday. It was my first day working at MO since starting this so that was a big test....no chocolate chip cookie, no cherry soda...but, I did make some killer whipped cream (5 squirts vanilla, 2 almond, 2 toasted marshmallow) it was so good...I made myself a non-fat mocha with some whip on it. That is what I love about WW, if I've saved some points on a day like yesterday, I can have a treat like that. I was still down to 245 this morning...

I was wearing my pedometer all day too and my goal was 4000 steps as I mentioned previously. Well, I think I made over 7000...my pedometer doesnt' have a cover over the reset button, partway through my shift at MO, I looked at it and was up to 4500...then right before I left, I looked at it again and it was 2000! So, aparently, at some point I leaned up against the counter or something and reset it! I was so frustrated. But I still feel like its safe to say I made it to 7000 or so...its a fun way to make sure I'm actually moving each day. It would be so easy for me to sit in a chair most of the day, cross stitching, etc (except for the two kids who demand that I get up and feed them), so this keeps me conscious...my goal for today is 5000 since I'm not working at MO...we'll see.

Success...so far

So, today, I weighed 246.9...so, down almost 2 lbs. Which is exciting, but typical of starting a new diet. So, I'm optimistic, but I've been here before. In fact, I've been at this weight before, just a few months ago...

I bought a pedometer yesterday, which is fun. But, mine keeps resetting itself. I think I may be accidentally hitting the reset button, the one I had before had a little cover over the reset. Who knows? My goal right now is 4,000 steps. I want to work up to 10,000, but for someone who sits a lot I think 4,000 is good. We'll see how today goes and maybe adjust that.

I love the beginning time of a new eating program. The excitement, the big weight losses, the ease...at least its that way for me. I have trouble in about week 2...3....4....I've always had trouble sticking with something difficult. I hope it will be different this time, one day, hour, moment at a time.

Why, oh why do I do this to myself?

I'm fat...not just chubby. But chubby sounds nicer, I guess. I've been fat/chubby my whole life. At least as long as I can remember. I've been on one diet or anther, with patches in between of saying "what the hell...I'm eating whatever I want", for as long as I can remember.

By the time I hit high school, I had already been on dozens of diets. From counting calories to counting carbs, from the Vegetable soup diet to Nutrisystem. I even went to a nutritionist for awhile - I remember I called her the Witch Doctor. She gave me vitamin B shots and took me off sugar. I wonder if I'd been more athletic, would that have helped?

I'm now 37, a wife and mother of 2 young children....and I'm still fat. I've had some success with dieting in the past, but nothing that really "stuck". I wonder why? I was talking with a friend today and posed that question...I think that I'm looking for that "magic" thing that will flip the switch and I will forever not crave sugar or run to food when I need comfort...but, I fear that I am more like an alcoholic - my day is made up of little choices that add up...instead of just "One day at a time", its "One day, hour, minute, moment at a time". And to be honest, that kind of sucks.

I went to the doctor for the first time in over three years yesterday. I love my doctor, he is our whole family's doctor and he is kind and gentle with my children....he was kind and gentle with me too. I think he can see that I get it....he doesn't have to convince me that the extra 100 or so pounds that I carry around aren't good for me. He told me that I am basically a healthy person, no real concerns about blood pressure, sugar or heart issues...yet. But looking down the road 10 or 20 years, will it be the same? Probably not.

So, here I am, again starting something new, well something old. Good old fasioned Weight Watchers (WW). I've tried so many things before, will this work this time? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe if I treat it this time, not like a one time, quick fix...but a moment by moment decision to live a healthier life....so, here it goes.....248.8 this morning, here's to lower tomorrow!