Reason #546 Why I Love WW....

So, I haven't had a great weight loss week, as referenced in my last post...that hasn't changed yet, but I have hope and I know it has to come off. But, yesterday, I was talking to my mom because she and my dad are on South Beach - as are my in-laws...I've so far been successful in not talking to my family about my WW journey but we were talking about their current endeavor and I remembered what I don't like about low-carb diets. Besides the fact that I don't lose weight on them as well as my husband does, I don't like having to completely cut sugar and other carbs like potatoes out of my diet. I've worked and worked before to cut it out and then when I have one bite of anything with sugar in it, it's all down hill...

With WW, I love the flexibility I have. My husband and I take Friday off and I've sort of decided that Friday will be the day I use my weekly points because we tend to go out for lunch or have people over, etc...Last Friday, we tried a new breakfast spot downtown called Tolousse - it was a sort of New Orleans place and they had beignets on the menu and they sounded really good - so we split a small order and they were yummy. So to counter that, I ordered the yogurt with fruit and granola for my entree and only ate about 1/2 of it and I was so satisfied.

Then, last night, we had friends over and my husband requested The Pioneer Woman's enchiladas so I made those with Mexican Rice, Beans and chips with the wonderful WW Avocado Lime sauce...we made fun fruity drinks and our friends brought ice cream for dessert (it happened to be light)....I think because I've been having a little bit of sugar each day, when I have days like this I don't go crazy. I know these aren't "forbidden" foods there are no "forbidden" foods - and mentally that works better for me.

So, even though I haven't had great weight loss this week, I've lost 10 lbs so far and that's awesome...plus, I know the next two weeks will be better and I feel great....

Two Good Weeks...

So, we've come to the discouraged portion of our program....I've gone a whole week with no weight loss...I realize this is normal as I'm retaining water and craving chocolate - and we all know what that means. But, it doesn't make it any easier...tomorrow is my official weigh-in day and I'm trying to not force myself to fast all day and just treat this like a normal day. Because, in the scheme of things, I know weeks like this will come.

I feel like, the older I get, I have about 2 good "weight loss" weeks a month and the other 2 are just about holding on until the next 2 weeks come. It's frustrating, but I know that in the long run, it has to keep coming off. I am eating less and being more active....I feel better, I have more energy so it's all good - If I can just get through these 2 weeks to the next 2....

Website Woes....

So a couple of days ago, I was having trouble logging on to the WW website. I got error messages all morning but, finally was able to log in the late afternoon...but, when I logged in, instead of my normal 36 daily points - it now said that I only was allotted 26 daily points! I tried logging in again, made sure it still had my weight correct, posted a message on the message board asking if anyone else was having issues, sent an e-mail to WW....finally, yesterday I called and got some lady who basically told me "If the computer says that, it must be correct - if you're losing weight, the points will go down."

I was so frustrated but started to doubt myself, thinking maybe I was supposed to only get 26 points...so I did some research on-line and realized that 26 is the lowest points allowed in the Points Plus program so I knew at over 250 lbs, there was no way it was correct. So, I called again today, and at first the woman tried to tell me again - it must be correct but I didn't take that answer...I pushed and asked to talk to a supervisor and while we were waiting for one to get on the line, she said "have you tried resetting your weight?"....um...no, you haven't mentioned that yet....so, I reset my weight to today's weight and voile' I have my 37 points back...it was weird because I swear I was down to 36 before, but I'll take it. It is kind of a pain because I had to start it with today's weight (254.4) so it doesn't show the 10.6 lbs I've lost so far, but I know I've lost them...

I just wanted it to work how it's supposed to work and I felt like no one could understand that...but, I MADE them listen to me and that is really good for me - I'm not always good at advocating for myself and it felt good to get it figured out....

On another note, I made Mongolian Beef in the crock pot last night. I really liked it - it was different than say PF Chang's Mongolian Beef, but I thought it was really tasty and easy to make....here's the link... http://veryculinary.com/2012/02/28/crock-pot-mongolian-beef/

Monday, Monday

This weekend was hard for me...harder than dieting has been this time around....I did fine and stayed within my points, etc but it was a struggle for the first time. I wanted to eat - I was grouchy and annoyed and wanted to eat. I realize this is completely normal, but it's not fun. I made it through the weekend to Monday and I feel better this morning, kind of...I'm tired and grouchy still, but I'm plugging along.

I have a much easier time eating well during the week - I pack my lunch for work with some sort of entree' - either a Lean Cuisine or leftovers - a big bag of raw veggies and a piece of fruit. I'm typically very satisfied with this and it gets me a long way to getting all my fruit/veggie servings in. I have more structure during the week - meals are relatively set and planned for. On the weekends, even if I've planned out our menus, things come up to change those plans...Or I have a marathon day of shuttling kids to and from Target and dropping off at birthday parties and I get tired and just want to eat. Last night, even though I was tired, I made the healthy Baked Potato Soup that I was planning on and it was good...I enjoy cooking and it calmed me down...I ate a bowl of soup and a big salad and felt much better. So far, I'm reacting well to the frustrations and diversions that are coming up and that's good.

I sat down this morning and made out our meals through the week and made a grocery list and I'll go to Fred Meyer after I work awhile and do our shopping and all will be right in my little dieting world and this hurdle will be over...until the next one....

PS - that baked potato soup recipe is here if you're interested.... http://www.recipe-diaries.com/2011/11/10/baked-potato-soup-2/

Pork Carnitas - Recipe

So, today was my official weigh in and I was down to 256.1 so, I was down a little over a pound for this week and I'm happy with that!

Last night we had company and I made a new recipe. It was Pork Carnitas http://www.recipe-diaries.com/2010/03/24/slow-cooker-pork-carnitas/ I cannot even explain to you how good this was! It was smoky, spicy, garlic-y shredded pork yummy-ness and extremely easy to make. I bought crunchy taco shells for the kids and small whole wheat flour tortillas (1 point each) which were yummy! We made homemade salsa with our Ninja blender and, I happened to look on WW's recipe sight and the recipe of the day from Wednesday was this http://www.weightwatchers.com/food/rcp/RecipePage.aspx?sc=11&recipeid=324391 and this sauce was perfect on the pork! In fact, my husband decided he would like this sauce on everything from now on...very lime-y and refreshing with a little bite to it.

Such a great meal and perfect for company...Then, for dessert, I made the chocolate cake with non-fat Greek yogurt and it was yummy! The kids loved the cake too and that was fun!

These will definitely be made again and again!

Perseverance...

So, I'm almost two weeks down and I still feel really strong...I have more energy than I normally do, I'm getting more done. I've cut down my sugar and Diet Coke down quite a bit and I think that helps a lot with the up and down energy feelings. I'm eating tons more fruit and vegetables...

The only frustrating part is I don't seem to have lost any weight this week...last week I dropped so much that I think it's normal to lose less the second week...even on The Biggest Loser they all say week two is frustrating. I know the weight has to continue to come off - I'm eating less and better things, I'm more active that I was - so, it has to happen. I just have to make it through these times of frustration with the scale. I've tried not weighing every day, but only weighing once a week actually affects me worse than checking in with the scale each morning. It's like I build up in my mind that if it's been a week, I should have lost 20 lbs at least, right? If it's only 1 or 2, I'm disappointed. So, I'll continue to weigh each morning and realize that little ups and downs can be attributed to a salty meal the night before and I'll continue to realize that it has to go down. And, in the meantime, I feel better so why not eat this way forever??

Even with my scale frustration, I don't feel like quitting - in fact, it's the furthest thing from my mind - at least for today...again, I have no promises for tomorrow...but, today is good...

Bubble Up Enchiladas - Recipe

So, last night, I tried another new recipe - God bless Pinterest....Anyway, it was AMAZING and yes, I meant to put that in all caps as if yelling it...here it is http://www.recipe-diaries.com/2011/05/23/bubble-up-enchiladas-weight-watcher-recipes-part-2/

The recipe says that they are 6 points - this is from the old system - the Points Plus value is 10 so, it is a kind of high points value...but, if you have the points these are worth it! I had a serving last night with a salad for a total of 12 points which isn't bad for dinner...One nice thing about being really fat, is I get a lot of points, so this may not work for everyone. But, again, I can't stress enough how yummy these were, IMO...

The only thing I did different from the recipe is that I didn't have ground turkey, so I used very lean beef and browned it with a little chopped onion (which I added, it's not in the recipe). Then, I did the trick of putting the ground beef and onion in a colander and rinsing it off, which is a great trick to get off excess fat. After that, I put it back in the skillet and added some seasoning. I did S&P and a little chili powder because we like spice and then I proceeded with the recipe as written...

So good, even my very picky son liked it!!! I couldn't get my daughter to eat it, but she was determined to not like it so I think it was an attitude thing, not a recipe thing...Anyway, this will definitely be in my dinner rotation. You can also make a pizza version of this recipe!?!

This is a great recipe website - I'm trying her Baked Potato soup later this week as well...Yippee!

Heading Into Week Two...

and still feeling strong and it's kind of freaking me out....I mean, I feel really strong and good and not like I want to cheat at all...not that you can really "cheat" on WW, which is partially why I like it so much. But weird things like I ate out 3 times this last week and at each meal, someone at the table had French Fries and I didn't eat one...I did split cheesecake with a friend on Saturday, but it didn't completely derail me and that is weird for me....I've seriously cut back on my Diet Coke intake and upped my water and I'm not missing it...someone look for a pod...

It freaks me out though because I know I could wake up tomorrow and say "screw it I'm eating Hostess mini Powdered Sugar donuts for breakfast"...thankfully, we don't have any in the house, but you get my drift. I've never been able to sustain weight loss and even though I'm so early in this new journey, I know what my history is like and it scares me. I feel really good - I've already made it through the first few days where I get a headache from cutting back my sugar. I've gotten over that bloat-y feeling I tend to get when I first start eating more fiber and I'm in the "sweet spot" where I feel pretty great about everything. So how do I maintain this? I realize that I am no Pollyanna and I will hit a wall eventually so what happens then? I think I'm trying to prepare myself mentally that it will come and I'll have to face it then. I'm really trying to take it one meal at a time, one day at a time and realize that this is a slow and steady marathon not a sprint. I'm focusing mostly though on the fact that today, I feel good and strong and that is wonderful!

Chicken With Wild Rice Soup - Recipe

Okay, I found a great website with WW approved recipes - it is http://www.skinnytaste.com/ - and it has a lot of recipes that look amazing!

Today, I made the Chicken w/Wild Rice soup - which is one of my all time favorite soups...here's the link http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/01/chicken-shiitake-and-wild-rice-soup.html

It was an incredibly easy recipe and it turned out great! I accidentally thawed too many chicken thighs, so I used 6 instead of 4 and I used a smidge more light sour cream than she calls for so I adjusted the points to 8 per serving (I used the Recipe Builder feature on WW's website which is amazing...). Anyway, I'm sure I will be making this soup again - and, I thought it was a great idea to make it on Sunday afternoon and then container it up for lunches this week or to freeze....love it!

More Eating Out....

I went to a movie and Cheesecake Factory today for my daughter's birthday and I did pretty well. I made choices that I think a "normal" person would make and that I would like to be able to make most of the time...We went to the movie first, and normally I would order a medium or large popcorn with butter and eat a good portion of it myself. Today, I refrained from any popcorn, knowing that we were also going to lunch afterwards.

Then, Cheesecake Factory has a "Skinnylicious" menu and it's really a great option - other than the fact that I had to estimate points because they don't have a detailed enough nutritional guide to figure the points accurately. So, they had my favorite Chicken Salad Sandwich on the Skinny menu - it is just a little smaller and the salad has lo-fat dressing on it. It was wonderful and around 500 calories, which isn't bad for eating out - I ate all my salad and left the crusts on my sandwiches, so my calories were probably a little less. Then, I shared a piece of cheesecake instead of having a whole one myself which cuts back on calories a lot...

I think the biggest thing for me to learn is that you can have a fun or "cheat" meal and not have it completely derail everything...that is my goal at least. It doesn't have to be a big deal and you have extra weekly WW points for a reason...I'm still really feeling great about things and that is amazing...

First Weigh-in Down....

I'm very happy this morning I was down 7.6 lbs to 257.4 this morning! Very good news - I realized that it is my first week and that this is not what normal will be like, but it's good nonetheless.

We had a great birthday dinner with my daughter last night - my planned order at Red Robin went perfectly and I was completely satisfied...I didn't even eat any of the free fries that the server brought us....I realized that tomorrow I could be face first in a Peppermint Patty cupcake from Cupcake Royale - but, for today, I feel good and strong....

Three Down...a Bunch to Go...

Still going strong...three days down - a lifetime to go. I think that's one of the hardest things to wrap my mind around. I will always be someone who struggles with my weight. Even when I lose 125 lbs, it will be a challenge (I almost wrote "constant struggle" but that sounds sad) to keep weight off. Making lasting lifestyle changes is the most important thing, and I know that, but I think it will always be a challenge. People who have lost large amounts of weight gain it back all the time - it's just a fact - so I'm wrapping my mind around the fact that it's a life-long deal and I'm trying to be okay with that.

One thing that I haven't added yet is exercise. I know it's coming, but I'm pretending that I don't need it for awhile. I figure to get a couple weeks under my belt of eating differently is a huge step so I'm trying not to overwhelm myself. After 2-3 weeks I'm sure I will begin to not lose without beginning to work out. I really want to try to make goals that are actually attainable. I tend to set these huge goals like, "I'm going to walk around Greenlake 5 days this week" and then when I do it once and feel like I'm going to die, I don't do it again...So, I think the first thing I will add is taking the dog for a little walk around the neighborhood each day - maybe 5 blocks and then add a block each week. I really want to be smart about this.

I would, however, love to run again someday. I used to be a runner - in college for one brief Summer and when I wasn't hating it, I loved it...it became a weird obsession. I would wake up and say to myself "I don't want to run today" and by 10am I'd be thinking "I have to run today". I had a running partner, ironically it was my mother, and that really helped - but now that I have two kids, a husband and a job - I think I would like the solitude of running alone...something to dream about.

Today is my daughter's birthday and we're going to Red Robin for dinner so I've preemptively gone on their website and figured out what I can eat to fit in my points...it's all about preparation...

Foods I'm Loving....

So, I've been at it for two days now! Yea me!! I'm only being half sarcastic because my track record of late has been so horrible that going for two days eating healthy is a miracle...So, I've decided to let you in on some WW approved foods that I'm loving, at least for these past two days...

1. Yogurt Fruit Smoothies: So, I take the grocery-store brand light yogurt - the cheap stuff - and I blend it up with a little 1% milk, various fruits - strawberries, 1/2 banana, blueberries - and some ice...and it becomes a yummy 3 point breakfast for snack that really fills me up. The great thing is that my kids love them too - it's a great way to get my son, especially, to eat fruit. I know it's nothing new and everyone makes these, but I'm loving them and let's just pretend I invented them...

2. Quaker Caramel Corn flavored "Quakes" - they are like little rice cake chips and they are fine by themselves, but - with a Tbls of Peanut Butter to dip them in - oh my! Yummy! Yesterday I had 7 Quakes with PB for a 3 point snack...so good!

3. Strangely, I'm loving cut up veggies with no dressing...I know, weird, right? And I'm sure it's just a passing phase but, each day at lunch I've eaten a zip-loc bag full of carrots, grape tomatoes, cucumber, peppers, and radish...great way to get all your veggies in and very filling!

4. Mint Chocolate Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches...enough said...I don't let myself have one unless I've had all my fruit and veggie servings...

I realize, again, it's only been two days but these little treats are saving my life right now and that's what its all about...one day at a time...

On the road again...

I keep thinking, this time will be different...it will, right? This time, I'll find that perfect formula and the will power to not lose 20 lbs and then give up and gain it all back, plus some. It's hard - anyone who says that losing weight is easy is a liar. Eating whatever you want to eat is just easier and a lot more fun. But I'm tired of that road.

So, I'm starting over....a fresh start....I'm not really talking about it yet with other people - other than this blog that no one reads anymore and The Man who is also on this journey. I find that when I bring other people on the road with me, I fuck it up even faster. Especially my mom. I love her, but we can't share this...too much history, too many diets as a child, too many "you're not going to eat that" looks...Last year, The Man and I were on WW and we were doing wonderfully. I had lost about 20 lbs and was still going strong. Then, we went to visit my parents and it all went to hell. My mom immediately got on the WW bandwagon and suddenly she and my dad were on WW too and she kept telling me how many points everything had and I never wanted a cheeseburger more in my life. I was back to high school hiding candy bars in my dresser...So, I'm not telling her this time and I really want to stick to that decision - but like a battered wife who continues to return to her abusive husband - I have to work hard to not let her into this part of my life. I don't need help sabotaging myself, believe me.

So, I joined WW again, on-line. I can't do the meetings, yet. Maybe at some point...but, people annoy me too much at those meetings...maybe once I have some success under my belt.

I'm weighing in at home on Fridays - this last Friday I weighted 265 - the most I've ever weighted. My goal weight is somewhere around 145 so that's 120lbs to lose! Crazy...and yet, somehow, today it seems possible. Maybe its the false high of one successful day down, but today it seems possible. And for now, that's enough.